Author: Jeff (Page 4 of 4)

I never wanted to be President. I really never wanted to be much of anything. Anything important that is. I always felt at home being by myself and doing my own thing. I never really wanted anyone to take notice of me. I was happy and content in my little world. My own little world. My world of imagination and fun. I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind into it. And I did that a lot. I would daydream of being rich and famous. I would daydream of being a published author. I would daydream of accepting the academy award for best screenplay. Yes I did want people to notice me but I never wanted to be much of anything. I enjoyed sitting on a couch or chair and just looking and listening to all the people at a gathering. I would listen to their conversations and study their body language. But I would never participate. I would never want to express my thoughts and opinions. That would be too personal. That would be too close to who I am. And I really never wanted to be much of anything. 

My days would always start the same. I would get up around the same time every day. No sleeping in for me. I had my routine and I followed it faithfully. God forbid if I had to deviate. That would totally ruin my day. And then where would I be? I would be in limbo. I wouldn’t know what to do. I couldn’t be myself. I had to become someone else. Who would I become? I would panic and pace around the house. How dare my routine get interrupted. I wouldn’t know what to do or who to turn to. I never really wanted to be much of anything. And now here I am standing out there for all to see because my routine has been interrupted. 

Panic attacks are not much fun. And they are very real. It feels like your heart is pounding so fast that you feel it is going to explode through your chest. You feel light headed and clammy. Your breathing increases and your emotions go off the chart. First you’re angry and curse at everyone who has been a part of your life. Then you are sad. You cry because of all the lost connections. The friends that have come and gone. You ask yourself what if I did things differently. Where would I be? What would my life be like? Who would I be with? Who would I be?

But I never really wanted to be much of anything. All of this thinking is contrary to who you think you are now. And this conflict rattles throughout your head. And the panic increases. And then…

The voices start. They pick at your mind. They taunt you. They make you want to be something you are not. And something you do not want to be. You struggle to clear your mind. You start the breathing exercises you remembered the last time a panic attack happened. You pray for the voices to be still. You just wanted to be left alone. I never wanted to be much of anything. I just want to be left alone. Please leave me alone.

It is not working. The voices continue to hound you. What is wrong? Why can’t I be left alone? I never really wanted to be much of anything. 

But what if?

But what if I am supposed to be something. What if I am supposed to be doing more than just daydreaming?  Are these panic attacks just my thoughts screaming to get out of my head? Do I need to do more than daydream? It has been so long since I did something for people to read and share. How do I start? 

Wait, I have started. I have started by admitting that I need to do more. Wait, let me change that last sentence. I have started by admitting that I WANT to do more. There is a big difference between need and want. If you need to do something you still have the out of not doing it. If you want to do something, there is no out. You do it because you want to.

And I want to.

I want to get back to all that I have been dreaming about. 

I never wanted to be President. I just want to be me again.

To be continued…

A lot of people are afraid. Is the world coming to an end? Will I have a job on Monday morning? Will my kids be alright? What am I afraid of? My fear is simple: I am afraid to succeed. To go even further I am afraid to do what I want in my life. Yes I know I have been told you can’t do this or you can’t do that. Many of us have been told that. If you listen long enough to people who tell you that you can’t, you start getting an attitude that you can’t. I have been listening to the wrong people.

I have let others shape who I am. Now that I am on my own I am seeing that more clearly. And you what? I have wasted a bunch of years sitting back and doing what everyone else expects me to do. Now I am not going to go and be a hermit. I know I have responsibilities. I have bills to pay. I enjoy my life and I am blessed with all that I have.

But now it is my time.

It is now time for me to be the best possible version of myself.

It will take a bunch of small steps to get there. That is one huge lesson I have learned. You can set lofty goals. Nothing wrong with that. But set smaller goals to get you to that lofty goal. And celebrate those smaller goals. In time that lofty goal will be closer than you think.

Now it is up to you. What do you want to do? Who do you want to be? Go take a walk or quietly meditate. Write things down. Put an action plan together.

There is nothing to fear!

JUST DO IT!

To be continued …

Simple
Study that word for a few minutes. Let it sink in and meditate on it.

Simple
It is a very easy word. Not too hard to spell or pronounce. Only two syllables.

Simple
In our world today. In your world today, how simple is it? How would you define simple in our lifestyle. Is simple putting frozen food in the oven for an hour and serving dinner? Is simple following a set of instructions? Is simple a beautiful melody or poem?

Simple
Living a simple life. Is that even possible? With all that is thrown at us on daily basis, how can life be simple?

Simple
Reflect on these lyrics by Elder Johnson:
‘Tis the gift to be simple, ’tis the gift to be free
‘Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
Twill be in the valley of love and delight.

When true simplicity is gained,
To bow and to bend we shan’t be ashamed,
To turn, turn will be our delight,
Till by turning, turning we come ’round right.

Simple
Simple is a balance. There are still responsibilities in your life. Simple is a balance. Progress is still important. Simple is a balance. The interaction of family and friends is all part of life. Simple is a balance.

Simple
Simple is as simple does. Think about that. There is no set of instructions on learning to be simple. There is no order form at the bottom of this page for a book on Ten Steps to a Simple Life. What you think simple is may be totally different from what others think. And that is OK!
That is the beauty of a simple life.

Simple
What is your simple life? How would you describe it? How would you live it? Think about it. But remember to keep it simple.

Pastor Dzeff was the associate pastor at Saint Helga’s Church, a non denominational church and the only church in Royal

Pastor Dzef grew up in southern Wisconsin. As a boy he was always the odd kid out. Dzef did not love sports or fishing or camping. Dzef was a bookworm and if you were looking for him, the first place to check was the public library.

Dzef had a love for animals and any stray animal he found he brought home to the family farm. After doing his chores he would care for his animals. He would set them free or find homes for them.

After high school, Dzef volunteered for the Peace Corp. He was sent to Central America where he worked with missionaries helping the poor, homeless and hungry. This is where and when Dzef discovered God. He knew what his calling and purpose of life was to be.

He entered the seminary and several years later was ordained a priest. His first assignment was as chaplain for the only active MASH unit in the VietNam war. He served there for about a year before returning home.

His next assignment was as associate pastor at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher in the northern suburbs of Milwaukee. The parish was very conservative and the parishioners came from well to do families. Father Dzef saw how the parish and school was trying to conform all the children into “Little Soldiers of Christ”. There was no chance of being an individual. Father Dzef was always at odds with the Pastor.

At a family reunion held in Royal one summer, Father Dzef attended service at Saint Helga’s. He felt so at peace listening to the Word of God. He enjoyed how all the families at the church participated in the service. God was calling Father Dzef. Royal was to be his new home.

Father Dzef talked with the Pastor and was offered the Associate Pastor position. Father Dzef accepted the position and was ordained Pastor Dzef. With church finances as they were, the position was unpaid and the new Associate Pastor Dzef needed to find a place to live. Pastor Dzef was able to find a job at a local restaurant called “The Lunch Stop”. He worked at the counter and in the kitchen. It was there where he was able to meet and talk with the families from Royal and from other small towns nearby. Pastor Dzef was able to rent a small apartment above the restaurant. It was there he wrote his Epistle to the People of Royal.

Pastor Dzef remained at Saint Helga’s until the church closed and is currently on a walkabout across the United States