Category: Pastor Dzef

The story of the Church of Saint Helga in Royal is a testament to the transformative power of community, faith, and acceptance. Its journey from a humble beginning as a Lutheran church to a beacon of interfaith unity is a unique chapter in the history of Royal.

The Early Years: A Lutheran Foundation (1885-1902)

The year 1885 marked the genesis of the Church of Saint Helga. Founded as a Lutheran church, it held the distinction of being the first and only church in the small community of Royal. Under the guidance of its first pastor, Sven Jorgeson, Saint Helga’s served not only the residents of Royal but also families from the surrounding outlying areas who would gather every Sunday for services.

The church itself was a simple one-room log cabin, reflecting the pioneer spirit of the time. Initially heated by a fireplace, a donated wood stove later provided warmth during the colder months. The religious practices were strictly Lutheran, and those of other denominations who wished to participate were expected to either convert or simply attend the established services.

The Fire and a Period of Transition (1902-1908)

Tragedy struck in 1902 when the original log cabin church was destroyed by fire. This event, however, did not extinguish the community’s desire for spiritual gathering. For the next several years, services were held in an empty storefront located on Main Street, a temporary space that would unknowingly become the crucible for a profound transformation.

During this interim period, the town of Royal began to experience a significant shift in its demographics. It gradually attracted a diverse influx of artists, musicians, philosophers, writers, and actors from across the United States and even the world, evolving into a burgeoning artists’ colony. This new population brought with it a wide spectrum of beliefs, practices, and rituals, encompassing various religious faiths alongside agnosticism and atheism.

This created a unique and potentially volatile situation for the small town. How could a community as intimate as Royal maintain its cohesion amidst such diverse world views? What could have easily devolved into conflict instead blossomed into what many in Royal would later consider one of the most uplifting spiritual miracles in its history.

Rebuilding and Redefining Faith (1908-1909)

Throughout the years of holding services in the storefront, Pastor Sven Jorgeson diligently worked to raise funds for a new church building. His efforts, which included donations, raffles, church dinners, and a remarkable talent for shrewdly investing in emerging local businesses, proved successful. In April 1908, construction began on a new Saint Helga’s. This structure would be built of brick and feature a steeple and bell, a more permanent and prominent place of worship. Yet, in its design, it remained a plain and simple church.

Sadly, Pastor Sven Jorgeson passed away on July 7, 1908, and would not witness the completion of his vision. The new church was finished in September 1908, but the community now faced the challenge of finding a new spiritual leader.

Shortly after the church’s completion, a pivotal community meeting was held to determine its future. Recognizing the town’s newfound diversity, a groundbreaking decision was made: the Church of Saint Helga would become an all-inclusive church. It would stand independent of any specific denomination, embracing all faiths and beliefs. From this resolution emerged the Church of Saint Helga – The Church of Unconditional Love.

To solidify this new direction, a committee was formed, comprising a representative from every religious faith present in Royal. This diverse group embarked on the task of reviewing the practices, ceremonies, holidays, seasons, and aesthetics of all the represented beliefs. After much thoughtful deliberation and prayer, a Mission Statement was drafted and unanimously approved, laying the foundation for the Church of Saint Helga’s unique identity. This was followed by the creation of two more foundational documents: the Core Beliefs and Values of the Church of Saint Helga, and the Ethics and Morality of the Church of Saint Helga. These three documents became, and remain, the cornerstones of the church’s guiding principles.

William Brandenburg, who had served as the chairman of the Church Committee, was elected as the first Pastor of the newly envisioned church. Another committee was established to design the interior of the church, a particularly complex undertaking given the multitude of religious practices to consider. Throughout this period of planning and transformation, church services continued to be held in the familiar empty storefront, with different family members from various faiths taking turns leading the gatherings.

A New Beginning: The Church of Unconditional Love (1909-1949)

Sunday, January 3, 1909, marked a momentous occasion as the first Sunday service was held in the new Church of Saint Helga. The atmosphere was described as filled with an overwhelming sense of love and inclusion. Over the following months, the church services underwent further evolution, and the interior gradually took shape, reflecting the diverse spiritual landscape of the community.

Under the leadership of Pastor Brandenburg, the Church of Saint Helga and the town of Royal lived up to the ideals enshrined in their three core documents. Unconditional love was not merely a Sunday sermon topic but a lived reality, manifesting in acts of mercy and kindness that extended throughout Royal and its surrounding communities. For the next four decades, the church flourished, gaining recognition both nationally and internationally as a unique model of interfaith harmony.

A New Shepherd and a Quiet Closure (1949-1962)

In 1949, after forty years of dedicated service, Pastor Brandenburg retired. The church community began the search for a new spiritual leader. Their search led them to Pastor Dzef. During a family reunion held in Royal in the summer of 1949, Pastor Dzef attended a service at Saint Helga’s. He was deeply moved by the sense of peace and the inclusive nature of the service, where families from different backgrounds actively participated.

Following a conversation with Pastor Brandenburg and the church committee, Pastor Dzef was offered the position of Pastor, which he gratefully accepted and was ordained a few weeks later. Given the church’s financial situation, the position was unpaid, and Pastor Dzef sought employment and lodging within the community. He found a job at a local restaurant called “The Lunch Box Cafe,” working both at the counter and in the kitchen. This provided him with a unique opportunity to connect with families from Royal and neighboring towns. He rented a small apartment above the restaurant, which became the place where he penned his “Epistle to the People of Royal,” further solidifying his connection with the community.

Pastor Dzef remained a guiding presence at Saint Helga’s until the church ultimately closed its doors in 1962. While the reasons for its closure are not explicitly detailed, the legacy of the Church of Saint Helga as a testament to the power of unconditional love and interfaith unity in the face of diversity remains a significant and inspiring part of Royal’s history. The story of Saint Helga’s serves as a poignant reminder of the potential for harmony and understanding when communities embrace inclusivity and prioritize love above all else.

Preamble:

The Church of Saint Helga is founded on the core principle of unconditional love, recognizing the inherent wisdom and beauty within various spiritual traditions. Our rituals and practices are intentionally designed to draw upon the rich heritage of Catholicism, Judaism, Lutheranism, Buddhism, Islam, and Spiritualism, weaving them together into a unique tapestry of worship and spiritual growth. This document outlines the key elements of our religious ceremonies and ongoing practices.

I. The Sanctuary and Atmosphere:

Our sacred space is designed to foster a sense of unity and reverence for the diverse paths to the Divine. Key features may include:

• A Central Altar: Reminiscent of Christian traditions, the altar serves as a focal point for communal rituals and offerings. It is adorned with symbols representing our core faiths: a cross, a menorah, a statue or image of the Buddha, and artistic representations of Islamic geometric patterns and natural elements.
• Open and Inclusive Seating: Traditional pews may be complemented by cushions or open floor space, allowing individuals to choose postures that support their personal comfort and spiritual practice, including meditative sitting.
• Sensory Elements: Incense, drawing from Buddhist and other traditions, is often used to create a calming and contemplative atmosphere. Natural light and elements like plants or water features may be incorporated to foster a sense of peace and connection to the natural world.
• Eclectic Music: Our services are enriched by a diverse range of music, including Gregorian chants, Lutheran hymns, Jewish melodies (Nigunim), meditative Buddhist chants (Mantras), Sufi-inspired devotional music (Qawwali), and instrumental pieces that evoke spiritual reflection.

II. The Religious Ceremony:

Our central religious ceremony is a multifaceted experience designed to engage the mind, body, and spirit, fostering a deep sense of unconditional love and interconnectedness.

A. Opening:

The ceremony commences with a mindful gathering, incorporating elements from various traditions:

• A Call to Presence: This may take the form of a traditional Christian invocation, a Hebrew blessing such as the Shehecheyanu (acknowledging the sacredness of the moment), or a guided mindfulness exercise rooted in Buddhist practices, encouraging attendees to arrive fully in the present.
• Silent Reflection: A period of silent meditation or mindful breathing allows for personal introspection and the cultivation of inner peace.
• Sacred Readings: Passages are shared from the scriptures and wisdom texts of our core traditions: the Bible, the Torah, the Quran, the Dhammapada, and Spiritualist writings that emphasize love, compassion, and the interconnectedness of all life and the spiritual realms.

B. Readings and Teachings:

The heart of the ceremony involves exploring the theme of unconditional love through diverse lenses:

• Interfaith Perspectives: Readings and teachings are carefully selected to highlight the concept of love, compassion, justice, mercy, grace, and spiritual connection as understood within each tradition.
• Synthesized Reflection: The spiritual leader (who may draw from the wisdom of any of our represented faiths) offers a homily or reflection that weaves together these diverse perspectives into a unified message centered on universal love, acceptance, and understanding.

C. Rituals and Practices:

Our ceremonies incorporate unique blended rituals that symbolize unity, remembrance, and spiritual connection:

• Communion of Love: A ritual reminiscent of the Christian Eucharist and the Jewish tradition of sharing bread and wine (often offered with a non-alcoholic option for inclusivity) is practiced. This act symbolizes shared sustenance, unity within the community, and the acceptance of all. It may be accompanied by a moment of mindful eating, drawing from Buddhist principles of presence.
• Illumination of Intentions: Individuals are invited to light candles to represent personal prayers, intentions for themselves and others, or in remembrance of loved ones, both living and those who have passed into the spiritual realm (honoring Spiritualist beliefs and traditions like the Jewish Yahrzeit candle or Christian memorial candles).
• Meditative Practices: Guided meditation sessions, drawing from Buddhist mindfulness techniques and Christian contemplative prayer, are integral to our ceremonies. These may be followed by the communal chanting of sacred phrases, mantras, or devotional verses from various traditions, focusing on themes of love, peace, and compassion.
• Blessings of Wholeness: Blessings are offered in diverse forms, including Christian benedictions, Hebrew blessings (such as the Priestly Blessing), Buddhist blessings of loving-kindness (Metta), and Islamic Du’a (supplications) for peace, unity, and well-being.
• Spiritual Connection: A dedicated time may be set aside for recognizing the presence and influence of the spiritual realm, perhaps through shared inspirational stories, moments of silent reflection to connect with departed loved ones, or readings that explore the Spiritualist understanding of the continuity of life and the interconnectedness of all souls.

D. Music:

Music plays a vital role in creating a sacred atmosphere and deepening the emotional and spiritual experience. Our musical selections are intentionally diverse, aiming to resonate with the spiritual sensibilities of all present.

E. Community and Connection:

Throughout the ceremony, emphasis is placed on fostering a strong sense of community:

• Shared Participation: Congregants are encouraged to participate through communal singing, shared prayers, and moments of collective silence.
• Welcoming and Inclusive Environment: Our ceremonies strive to be welcoming and inclusive of individuals from all backgrounds and belief systems, united by the common thread of love.

F. Closing:

The ceremony concludes with a final blessing that synthesizes well wishes and peace invocations from our represented faiths. The dismissal encourages attendees to carry the spirit of unconditional love and compassion into their daily lives.

III. Ongoing Practices:

Beyond the central ceremony, the Church of Saint Helga fosters a community that actively engages in practices rooted in our core principle of unconditional love:

• Acts of Service: Inspired by the emphasis on compassion and tzedakah (righteous giving) in our traditions, community service initiatives are a vital part of our practice.
• Interfaith Dialogue and Learning: We encourage ongoing learning and dialogue about our respective traditions, fostering mutual respect and understanding.
• Mindfulness and Contemplative Practices: Regular opportunities for meditation, mindfulness exercises, and contemplative prayer are offered to cultivate inner peace and compassion.
• Celebration of Holy Days: While not strictly adhering to the traditional calendars of each individual faith, we may recognize and celebrate key holy days from our represented traditions in a way that highlights the theme of unconditional love and unity.
• Spiritual Exploration and Growth: We encourage individual exploration of spiritual practices that resonate with each person, supporting their unique journey towards love and understanding.

Conclusion:

The rituals and practices of the Church of Saint Helga are a dynamic and evolving expression of our commitment to unconditional love. By drawing upon the wisdom and beauty of diverse spiritual traditions, we aim to create a community where all feel welcome, connected, and inspired to embody love in their lives and in the world.

This document outlines the ethical and moral framework that guides the community of the Church of Saint Helga. Rooted in our core beliefs and values, our understanding of right and wrong, and our commitment to living a life of purpose, stems directly from the unconditional love of the Divine.

The Primacy of Love: The Bedrock of Our Ethics

At the heart of our ethical framework lies the Primacy of Love. The boundless and unconditional love of the Divine is not merely a theological concept but the very essence of our moral compass. This love, which knows no exceptions or limitations, serves as the ultimate standard against which all actions, intentions, and decisions are measured. It compels us to move beyond self-interest and embrace a radical inclusivity, recognizing the inherent worth and dignity of every being.

The Divine Image in All: The Source of Our Moral Obligations

Our belief in the Divine Image in All forms the cornerstone of our ethical obligations towards others. Recognizing that every individual is created in the likeness of the Divine imbues each person with intrinsic value and the capacity for love and connection. This understanding demands that we treat all individuals with respect, compassion, and dignity, regardless of their background, beliefs, or life circumstances. It negates any justification for discrimination, prejudice, or the dehumanization of another. Our moral responsibility extends to acknowledging and honoring the sacred spark within each person we encounter.

Love as the Guiding Principle: Practical Application of Our Faith

The principle of Love as the Guiding Principle translates our core beliefs into practical ethical action. It requires us to constantly ask: “What is the most loving response in this situation?” This involves:

• Seeking Understanding: Love compels us to listen actively, empathize with different perspectives, and strive to understand the experiences and needs of others.
• Uplifting and Supporting: Guided by love, we are called to offer encouragement, practical assistance, and spiritual support to those in need, both within and beyond our community.
• Acting with Compassion: Love necessitates a compassionate response to suffering and vulnerability, prompting us to alleviate pain and work towards healing and wholeness.
• Choosing Kindness: Even in challenging situations, love encourages us to choose words and actions that are characterized by kindness, patience, and understanding.

Creating a Safe and Inclusive Space: Ethical Imperatives for Our Community

Our commitment to creating a safe and inclusive space is not merely a social aspiration but a direct ethical imperative arising from our core beliefs:

• Open Table: Our Open Table reflects the unconditional love of the Divine, extending welcome and acceptance to all who seek connection and spiritual nourishment. Ethically, this means actively dismantling barriers to participation and ensuring that no one feels excluded based on their past, present beliefs, or personal circumstances.
• Respect for Diversity: Our Respect for Diversity acknowledges the inherent value in the multitude of human experiences. Ethically, this requires us to actively listen to and learn from different perspectives, challenge our own biases, and foster an environment where all voices are valued and respected.
• Commitment to Non-Judgment: Our Commitment to Non-Judgment stems from the understanding that each individual is on a unique spiritual journey. Ethically, this means refraining from condemnation and criticism, and instead offering compassion, understanding, and support. We recognize that judgment can create division and hinder the experience of unconditional love.

Engaging in Service, Spiritual Exploration, and Mutual Support: Ethical Expressions of Our Faith

Our engagement in acts of service, spiritual exploration, and mutual support are not simply activities but ethical expressions of our core values:

• Service as an Expression of Love: Our belief in Service as an Expression of Love compels us to actively work for justice, compassion, and the well-being of all. Ethically, this means identifying needs within our community and the wider world and responding with practical action, advocating for the marginalized, and striving to create a more just and loving society.
• The Value of Spiritual Inquiry: Our affirmation of The Value of Spiritual Inquiry recognizes the diversity of paths to the Divine. Ethically, this means fostering an environment of intellectual and spiritual freedom, encouraging questioning and exploration, and respecting the individual’s journey of faith, even when it differs from our own.
• The Importance of Community Support: Our belief in The Importance of Community Support highlights our interconnectedness. Ethically, this requires us to actively care for one another, offering practical assistance, emotional support, and spiritual encouragement. We recognize our responsibility to build a community where everyone feels seen, valued, and supported.

Fostering Personal Growth, Building Meaningful Connections, and Extending the Transformative Power of Love: Ethical Aims

Our aspirations for personal growth, meaningful connections, and the transformative power of love are ethical aims that guide our individual and collective endeavors:

• Growth in Love and Understanding: Our belief in Growth in Love and Understanding calls us to a lifelong commitment to spiritual development. Ethically, this means actively seeking to deepen our capacity for love, empathy, and compassion, and to continuously learn and expand our understanding of ourselves, others, and the Divine.
• The Power of Connection: Our recognition of The Power of Connection emphasizes the ethical importance of building authentic and meaningful relationships. This involves cultivating trust, practicing vulnerability, and actively nurturing our connections with one another as sources of strength, encouragement, and shared purpose.
• Love as a Force for Transformation: Our belief in Love as a Force for Transformation inspires us to extend the unconditional love we embody to our community and the wider world. Ethically, this means actively working towards healing, reconciliation, and peace, recognizing that love has the power to break down barriers, overcome division, and create a more just and compassionate world.

Conclusion

The ethics and morality of the Church of Saint Helga are inextricably linked to our core belief in the unconditional love of the Divine. This love serves as the foundation for all our values and guides our actions in the world. By embracing the primacy of love, recognizing the Divine image in all, and striving to embody love in all our interactions, we aim to create a community and contribute to a world that reflects the boundless compassion and inclusivity of the Divine. This is an ongoing journey, requiring constant reflection, intentional action, and a deep commitment to living in accordance with the transformative power of love.

The Church of Saint Helga is a welcoming community dedicated to embodying and sharing the unconditional love of the Divine:

• The Primacy of Love: The central tenet of our faith is the unconditional and boundless love of the Divine, a love that knows no exceptions or limitations. This love is the foundation of all our teachings and actions.
• The Divine Image in All: Every individual is created in the image of the Divine and therefore possesses inherent worth, dignity, and the capacity for love and connection. No person is inherently excluded from the Divine’s love or our community’s embrace.
• Love as the Guiding Principle: All actions, teachings, and decisions within the Church of Saint Helga are to be guided by the principle of love, seeking to understand, uplift, and support all.

The Church of Saint Helga strives to create a safe and inclusive space where all individuals, regardless of background, belief, or life circumstance, are embraced with compassion and respect:

• Open Table: Participation in our community is open to all who seek connection and spiritual nourishment, regardless of their past, present beliefs, or personal circumstances.
• Respect for Diversity: We recognize and value the diversity of human experience, understanding that different backgrounds, beliefs, and life circumstances enrich our community and offer unique perspectives on the Divine.
• Commitment to Non-Judgment: We strive to create a space free from judgment and condemnation, recognizing that each individual is on their own unique spiritual journey. Compassion and understanding are paramount.

The Church of Saint Helga engages in acts of service, spiritual exploration, and mutual support:

• Service as an Expression of Love: Engaging in acts of service, both within and beyond our community, is a fundamental expression of our love for the Divine and our neighbor. We are called to actively work for justice, compassion, and the well-being of all.
• The Value of Spiritual Inquiry: We encourage and support diverse paths of spiritual exploration and understanding. There is no single “right” way to connect with the Divine, and questioning and seeking are valued aspects of faith.
• The Importance of Community Support: We believe in the power of mutual support and recognize our interconnectedness. Caring for one another, offering practical assistance, and providing emotional and spiritual encouragement are essential aspects of our community life.

At the Church of Saint Helga we seek to foster personal growth, build meaningful connections, and extend the transformative power of love to our community and the world:

• Growth in Love and Understanding: We believe that spiritual growth is a lifelong journey of deepening our capacity to love, understand, and connect with the Divine and one another.
• The Power of Connection: Building authentic and meaningful relationships within our community is vital for personal and collective well-being. These connections are a source of strength, encouragement, and shared purpose.
• Love as a Force for Transformation: We believe that the unconditional love we embody and share has the power to transform individuals, our community, and the wider world, fostering healing, reconciliation, and peace.

The Church of Saint Helga is a welcoming community dedicated to embodying and sharing the unconditional love of the Divine. We strive to create a safe and inclusive space where all individuals, regardless of background, belief, or life circumstance, are embraced with compassion and respect. Through acts of service, spiritual exploration, and mutual support, we seek to foster personal growth, build meaningful connections, and extend the transformative power of love to our community and the world.

Yesterday I received a package from an old friend I went to religion class with. Back then every Tuesday afternoon we would walk to Mary Queen of Heaven Church and sit for an hour with Sister Fatima and learn how to make ourselves better Catholic boys and girls.

In honor of Sister Fatima and all the nuns at Mary Queen of Heaven who had to put up with all our jokes and pranks . . . I present the following as suggestions to parents who have to deal with the everlasting energy of children:

Considerata — or what goes around, comes around.

Step gently over the legos and crayons and rest assured there is never enough toilet paper.

Speak clearly and directly. Accept the truth that your kid’s hearing is subjective and random.

Never compare your childhood to your kids. It is a vain and futile discussion.

Enjoy your accomplishments as well as your dreams.

Exercise caution with homework assignments, for your kid’s teachers know more than you. But let this not depress you. You are not the weakest link.

Be yourself. For you are heroes to your kids. Even after all the disagreements, they will come running to you when they are hurt.

Do not joke about boyfriends and girlfriends – nor be cynical about the gossip at recess. For it is as perennial as Parent/Teacher conferences.

Take kindly to growing old for your kids will remind you countless times. Gracefully surrender the things of your youth – free time, the phone . . . the car.

For whatever your dreams or aspirations in your life are, always remember you can freeze Girl Scout cookies.

I am the father of angels.
Not unlike the kid I was.
And whether or not I can open the door.
Your room is still a mess.

Therefore, be at peace with your kids — no matter how long they hog the bathroom.

Amid all the noise and confusion, their answer is always the same…

“I dont know.”

To be continued . . .

It was the knock out punch that did it. The next thing I remembered was all these strange people looking at me as I was fluttering my eyes open. They just stared in amazement. No one said a word. But I could hear a lot going on in my head. I was confused. I tried to sit up but the people held me down. The only message I could understand was a voice telling me to just lay down and wait for help to arrive.

I tried to turn my head from side to side to see where I was but the strangers standing around me blocked my view. And the pain in my neck was intense. So I just laid there looking upward into nothing. The strangers seem to be fading away. I felt like I was floating. Almost as if I was on a calm lake. I could feel the small ripples move under my body. I was moving. But to where I don’t know. All I knew was that I was content and happy. I smiled and closed my eyes and floated away.

The phone rang and it startled me. My eyes opened wide. I felt like I fell twenty feet smack into my office chair. I looked around. I was home. I was in my office. I still felt disoriented. I felt like I was torn away from someone or someplace. The phone was still ringing. I answered it. It was a reminder of an upcoming doctor’s appointment. I was angry and hung up on the pre recorded message.

What just happened? Was it a dream? I tried to recall all the details. I took some paper and jotted down some notes but my memory faded faster than I could write. All I could remember was floating on a lake and voices whispering in my head. I couldn’t remember what they said. All I remembered was that I was happy. Happy beyond any happiness I encountered in my lifetime.

And I wanted to go back. I really wanted to go back.

I decided to go for a walk. The cool fall air felt good. And the sunshine warmed my soul. I do love a nice autumn day. The leaves were changing color. The bright red maple leaves provided an amazing contrast to the drabness of some of the houses on the block. I kept walking. I tried to imagine the interior of each house I walked past. I know that sounds weird. I have talked with several of my neighbors and just said hi in passing to a few others as they were walking their dogs. From their personalities or just a gut feeling I had, I visualized what their homes looked like. Why was I thinking like this? I don’t know. Maybe I was justifying the way my house looked. Why would I have to justify that? My house is my house and the way I want it to look is nobody’s business but mine.

Wait what has this got to do with my experience? What has this got to do with my dream? Where was I and who were all those people looking at me? I stopped at the corner. I looked in both directions before crossing the street. I felt the breeze on my face and looked up at the sky and smiled.

It was the knock out punch that did it. The next thing I remembered was all these strange people looking at me as I was fluttering my eyes open. They just stared in amazement. No one said a word. But I could hear a lot going on in my head. I was confused. I tried to sit up but the people held me down. The only message I could understand was a voice telling me to just lay down and wait for help to arrive.

Then I heard the siren. I didn’t see the ambulance, but I did recognize the paramedics. I couldn’t move. I was on a backboard. I tried talking but was told to be quiet and that everything was all right. So I just laid there looking upward. The strangers seem to be fading away. I felt like I was floating. Almost as if I was on a calm lake. I could feel the small ripples move under my body. The ambulance door closed and I was headed to the emergency room. The next thing I remembered was waking up to the sound of a phone ringing.

To be continued…

You could say we were destined to meet. I knew this day was coming. Slowly I could feel my sixth sense or my inner sense telling me to look for someone or something incredibly fantastic. Little did I know what I was getting into. And little did I know how much my brain would fight me.

I still can feel my brain telling me it is not worth it. I could be doing other things that would be much more fun. Remember all that we did a few months ago. You were so relaxed and content. Life was easy. Life was good. Your life is fine. There is no need to search for anything.

Yes those were the messages in my head. And I was listening to them. And even today I was listening to them. The voices were slowly creeping forward trying to take over my life again. And I almost let them win.

I made a mistake. I accepted what I did in the past was still ok in the present. But where I am at right now I don’t need to take a trip down memory lane. But I did. I justified this to myself. Or let’s just say the voices justified it for me. Telling me that it was ok for me to do the things that I once did. I could still do everything else. It will be ok.

But it won’t be ok. Those voices in my head are like weeds in a garden. They choke the life out of other plants. The voices were choking all the wonderful things I was doing. This week has been a pretty good week. I have been researching and writing. It is amazing how easy it is for the words to flow. When I write my head feels clear and centered. I haven’t felt this way in a long long time. And I like the feeling.

Instead of writing my thoughts and feelings I could be in a chat room looking for affirmation. That “ding” of a notification that someone wants to chat with me. I exist because I received a chat notification. That is so messed up 

I have said this in the past. I like being by myself but I don’t want to be alone. I do need the affirmation. Everyone needs to be recognized. I exist! I am here! Why is it so hard to talk with people? No that is not the question. Why do people leave me alone? 

Do I need a constant human connection? No. That would drive me crazy to have someone constantly with me. Someone who is always talking to me. Someone who has to be a part of everything I do everyday.

But where is the balance? I don’t have that yet. I crave attention. I am not like a spoiled two year old. And God forbid I am constantly the center of attraction. That would drive me up the wall. But I don’t want to be alone. 

And I am finding out that I am not ready for a relationship. I can’t share my life with someone. But isn’t that what I am looking for? Maybe it is not the sharing. Maybe I just can’t open up to someone. Maybe I don’t want to reveal who I am. Maybe I am afraid to reveal who I am. Maybe I don’t know who I am. 

Wow… I don’t know who I am. All these years I have been living a lie? That doesn’t sound right. If I have been living a lie and I was basically happy, then what was the trigger? What caused me to question my existence? 

To be continued…

As the sun set over the harbor, the lights of the city came on one by one. Wanda and I stood on the pier watching. It was an amazing sight to see. It was like the city was coming to life. The heartbeat of the city pushes the electrical power through the myriad of cables and wires. We both stood in awe as we watched.

Wanda was the first to speak. Her voice floated out into the atmosphere. “What is this all about?” she asked.

“I don’t understand.” I replied.

“Why are we here? Why do we exist? I don’t understand.” Wanda said in a frustrating tone.

“I exist because I am here. You exist because you are here.” I answered.

“I agree that I exist, but what’s the point of existence?” Wanda stated in a very straightforward way.

Wanda is not alone. There are many people in this world that exist but are unhappy with where they are. They think in the past and always question themselves “If only I could go back in time.”

Time is a constant that always moves forward. There are no second chances. You see and hear on the news of individuals who cheated death. And nine times out of ten you hear that they are given a second chance at life.

There are no second chances.  Time keeps moving forward. You keep moving forward. What you encountered in the past is just an event in time. You choose your path, You choose your destination. You choose who you are and what you do. The events you encounter along the path you choose are just that. They are events. You use them as you choose. They can be a learning event. Or the event could be a trigger of future events. That is your choice. That is your life.

Some people believe in predestination. That your whole life is determined prior to your birth. That you have no choice but to follow the path that was pre chosen for you.  And as much as you think you are changing your life,  you are actually following the path that was given to you.

Where is the fun in that? I mean I think I am getting better. I am trying to improve myself. But in all actuality this was all planned out for you.  This was your path to follow.

The same people believe in reincarnation. That is you just don’t go around once in life and that’s it. You have many past lives. And each life was predetermined. Each life was and currently is a lesson for you to learn and experience. And each experience gets you closer to your innermost self. Nirvana for lack of a better term. 

So in one life you were a mass murderer. In another life you were a gifted actor. In another life you were a simple middle class wage earner just trying to survive in this crazy world.

What’s the point then? If my life was predetermined, then I will just sit back and coast. What is the point of doing anything if that is what you were predetermined to do all along? Just let it happen. 

Just let it happen.

That sucks…

Sitting back and watching and waiting to see how it all acts out is just too depressing for me. I enjoy my life. I am totally enjoying rediscovering myself. If this is something I was predetermined to do, I don’t give a crap. Life is too short to just sit back and think of “What If?”. Life happens so just enjoy the ride. 

People say the world sucks these days. I don’t want to be around those people. I am seeing the world in a whole new light. My world is fantastic. It is fun and exciting. And I so look forward to each and every new day.

To be continued…

Seventh grade. The middle of middle school. One year away from supreme leadership (eighth grade) and no longer being hazed and harassed (sixth grade). It was kind of like middle child syndrome. Seventh graders were basically left alone to fend for themselves.

It was the Halloween dance at Mary Queen of Heaven school. It was decided by Sister Fatima and Father Bernard that the middle school should have some type of mixer. Something where the boys and girls would interact. Little did they know I would find my first girlfriend and my first love at the Halloween Dance.

Her name was Holly. Holly Kowalczyk. Her dad was the owner of Pinky’s bowling lanes and pizzeria. Holly was a loner. She was teased a lot by the other girls in seventh grade. Holly was very quiet and sort of a wallflower. She was very smart in school and the nuns would always compliment her and point out to the other seventh grade girls, “Why can’t you all be like Holly.”

That didn’t make her life any easier.

Holly was always under pressure to be the best at everything.

Costumes were required for this party. And my mom being good with a sewing machine planned on going all out. I had no say as to what I wanted for a costume. I would wear what my mom would create for me.

I was Gumby.

After looking at myself in costume I figure I could run away from home and work at a circus. I knew I could never go back to school again. Even the sixth graders would haze and harass me.

I was doomed.

After a gazillion photos and costume adjustments my parents drove me to the dance. My dad was not happy with the choice of costume and I think he understood how I felt. Before my parents left me at the school hall, my dad said “This too shall pass.” Whatever the heck that meant. And with that sage wisdom, my parents left.

Duck and cover. No this wasn’t an air raid practice. I needed to find a place to run and hide before I was spotted. The doorway to the classrooms was open. I made a mad dash down the hall. I found an open classroom and went in. It was dark. I kept the lights off. I figured if I kept quiet, I wouldn’t be found. It was perfect. No one would find me.

Then I heard someone crying. 

It was a girl.

Now what? Should I say something? Should I just keep quiet? I don’t think she knows I am here. But why is she crying? Why is she in the dark? Who is she?

My questions were answered with a flip of a light switch. I looked and saw Sister Catherine. This was her classroom. She stared at me with amazement. Maybe she has never seen a Gumby before. I turned to the left to see who it was that was crying.

It was Holly.

She was dressed as a bowling pin.

Before I could say anything we were both quickly escorted out of the classroom and into the school hall. There to my horror my parents were standing along with Holly’s parents and Father Bernard. 

Before anyone could say anything, Sister Catherine said, “I saw them walking up and down the hallway talking to each other. I told them to get back to the dance.”

I looked up at Sister Catherine and she gave me a wink. She had my back. Maybe she was a Gumby once too. From that day on I had total respect for Sister Catherine and would help her every time she asked.

“Why don’t you two go out there and dance”, said Father Bernard. I looked at Holly and she looked at me. Her hand kind of reached towards mine. My dad coughed and I looked at him. He motioned that I should take her hand. I did. We walked together onto the dance floor.

A Gumby and a Bowling Pin.

I noticed most of the girls dancing with other girls and the boys were all at one side standing and watching. I looked at Holly and we started dancing. It really wasn’t all that bad. Holly looked at me and smiled. I think this was the first time I ever saw her smile. I think she was having a good time. I know I was having a good time.

And then we heard Sister Fatima’s voice, “Why can’t you girls be like Holly and dance with a boy!”

I looked at Holly. I thought she might run away. But she didn’t. She smiled at me and held me closer and we danced the night away.

To be continued …

I never wanted to be President. I really never wanted to be much of anything. Anything important that is. I always felt at home being by myself and doing my own thing. I never really wanted anyone to take notice of me. I was happy and content in my little world. My own little world. My world of imagination and fun. I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind into it. And I did that a lot. I would daydream of being rich and famous. I would daydream of being a published author. I would daydream of accepting the academy award for best screenplay. Yes I did want people to notice me but I never wanted to be much of anything. I enjoyed sitting on a couch or chair and just looking and listening to all the people at a gathering. I would listen to their conversations and study their body language. But I would never participate. I would never want to express my thoughts and opinions. That would be too personal. That would be too close to who I am. And I really never wanted to be much of anything. 

My days would always start the same. I would get up around the same time every day. No sleeping in for me. I had my routine and I followed it faithfully. God forbid if I had to deviate. That would totally ruin my day. And then where would I be? I would be in limbo. I wouldn’t know what to do. I couldn’t be myself. I had to become someone else. Who would I become? I would panic and pace around the house. How dare my routine get interrupted. I wouldn’t know what to do or who to turn to. I never really wanted to be much of anything. And now here I am standing out there for all to see because my routine has been interrupted. 

Panic attacks are not much fun. And they are very real. It feels like your heart is pounding so fast that you feel it is going to explode through your chest. You feel light headed and clammy. Your breathing increases and your emotions go off the chart. First you’re angry and curse at everyone who has been a part of your life. Then you are sad. You cry because of all the lost connections. The friends that have come and gone. You ask yourself what if I did things differently. Where would I be? What would my life be like? Who would I be with? Who would I be?

But I never really wanted to be much of anything. All of this thinking is contrary to who you think you are now. And this conflict rattles throughout your head. And the panic increases. And then…

The voices start. They pick at your mind. They taunt you. They make you want to be something you are not. And something you do not want to be. You struggle to clear your mind. You start the breathing exercises you remembered the last time a panic attack happened. You pray for the voices to be still. You just wanted to be left alone. I never wanted to be much of anything. I just want to be left alone. Please leave me alone.

It is not working. The voices continue to hound you. What is wrong? Why can’t I be left alone? I never really wanted to be much of anything. 

But what if?

But what if I am supposed to be something. What if I am supposed to be doing more than just daydreaming?  Are these panic attacks just my thoughts screaming to get out of my head? Do I need to do more than daydream? It has been so long since I did something for people to read and share. How do I start? 

Wait, I have started. I have started by admitting that I need to do more. Wait, let me change that last sentence. I have started by admitting that I WANT to do more. There is a big difference between need and want. If you need to do something you still have the out of not doing it. If you want to do something, there is no out. You do it because you want to.

And I want to.

I want to get back to all that I have been dreaming about. 

I never wanted to be President. I just want to be me again.

To be continued…

A lot of people are afraid. Is the world coming to an end? Will I have a job on Monday morning? Will my kids be alright? What am I afraid of? My fear is simple: I am afraid to succeed. To go even further I am afraid to do what I want in my life. Yes I know I have been told you can’t do this or you can’t do that. Many of us have been told that. If you listen long enough to people who tell you that you can’t, you start getting an attitude that you can’t. I have been listening to the wrong people.

I have let others shape who I am. Now that I am on my own I am seeing that more clearly. And you what? I have wasted a bunch of years sitting back and doing what everyone else expects me to do. Now I am not going to go and be a hermit. I know I have responsibilities. I have bills to pay. I enjoy my life and I am blessed with all that I have.

But now it is my time.

It is now time for me to be the best possible version of myself.

It will take a bunch of small steps to get there. That is one huge lesson I have learned. You can set lofty goals. Nothing wrong with that. But set smaller goals to get you to that lofty goal. And celebrate those smaller goals. In time that lofty goal will be closer than you think.

Now it is up to you. What do you want to do? Who do you want to be? Go take a walk or quietly meditate. Write things down. Put an action plan together.

There is nothing to fear!

JUST DO IT!

To be continued …

Simple
Study that word for a few minutes. Let it sink in and meditate on it.

Simple
It is a very easy word. Not too hard to spell or pronounce. Only two syllables.

Simple
In our world today. In your world today, how simple is it? How would you define simple in our lifestyle. Is simple putting frozen food in the oven for an hour and serving dinner? Is simple following a set of instructions? Is simple a beautiful melody or poem?

Simple
Living a simple life. Is that even possible? With all that is thrown at us on daily basis, how can life be simple?

Simple
Reflect on these lyrics by Elder Johnson:
‘Tis the gift to be simple, ’tis the gift to be free
‘Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
Twill be in the valley of love and delight.

When true simplicity is gained,
To bow and to bend we shan’t be ashamed,
To turn, turn will be our delight,
Till by turning, turning we come ’round right.

Simple
Simple is a balance. There are still responsibilities in your life. Simple is a balance. Progress is still important. Simple is a balance. The interaction of family and friends is all part of life. Simple is a balance.

Simple
Simple is as simple does. Think about that. There is no set of instructions on learning to be simple. There is no order form at the bottom of this page for a book on Ten Steps to a Simple Life. What you think simple is may be totally different from what others think. And that is OK!
That is the beauty of a simple life.

Simple
What is your simple life? How would you describe it? How would you live it? Think about it. But remember to keep it simple.

Pastor Dzeff was the associate pastor at Saint Helga’s Church, a non denominational church and the only church in Royal

Pastor Dzef grew up in southern Wisconsin. As a boy he was always the odd kid out. Dzef did not love sports or fishing or camping. Dzef was a bookworm and if you were looking for him, the first place to check was the public library.

Dzef had a love for animals and any stray animal he found he brought home to the family farm. After doing his chores he would care for his animals. He would set them free or find homes for them.

After high school, Dzef volunteered for the Peace Corp. He was sent to Central America where he worked with missionaries helping the poor, homeless and hungry. This is where and when Dzef discovered God. He knew what his calling and purpose of life was to be.

He entered the seminary and several years later was ordained a priest. His first assignment was as chaplain for the only active MASH unit in the VietNam war. He served there for about a year before returning home.

His next assignment was as associate pastor at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher in the northern suburbs of Milwaukee. The parish was very conservative and the parishioners came from well to do families. Father Dzef saw how the parish and school was trying to conform all the children into “Little Soldiers of Christ”. There was no chance of being an individual. Father Dzef was always at odds with the Pastor.

At a family reunion held in Royal one summer, Father Dzef attended service at Saint Helga’s. He felt so at peace listening to the Word of God. He enjoyed how all the families at the church participated in the service. God was calling Father Dzef. Royal was to be his new home.

Father Dzef talked with the Pastor and was offered the Associate Pastor position. Father Dzef accepted the position and was ordained Pastor Dzef. With church finances as they were, the position was unpaid and the new Associate Pastor Dzef needed to find a place to live. Pastor Dzef was able to find a job at a local restaurant called “The Lunch Stop”. He worked at the counter and in the kitchen. It was there where he was able to meet and talk with the families from Royal and from other small towns nearby. Pastor Dzef was able to rent a small apartment above the restaurant. It was there he wrote his Epistle to the People of Royal.

Pastor Dzef remained at Saint Helga’s until the church closed and is currently on a walkabout across the United States