Dear Shirley,
I’m an 18-year-old girl, and I’m writing to you because I am desperate. I met a man at a VFW dance, and he was so charming. He said all the right words, and I fell in love with him there that night. We have been dating for some time, but I haven’t told my parents because he is a lot older than I am. He was the first man to ever make love to me.
One day when I was out with some friends, I saw him walking down the street. I was so excited and wanted to snatch him and show him off to my girlfriends. But then I saw another woman come up to him, and they kissed. My heart was completely broken.
I confronted him the next night, and that’s when I found out he was married. But he told me he was going to get a divorce so we could be together for the rest of our lives. He said all those nice words again, and I fell right back in love with him.
Three days ago, I found out I was with child. I told him I was having his baby, and he got all defensive and said that it was my fault. After that, he has avoided me. He doesn’t return my calls and avoids me every chance he can get. I don’t know what I am going to do. I haven’t told my parents yet. I need your help.
Desperate
Jean
Dear Desperate Jean,
My heart aches for you. You have been terribly misled by a cad who has no regard for your well-being, and now you must face the consequences of his actions. I will not sugarcoat this for you. The path ahead is difficult, but it is not impossible if you face the truth with courage.
The first and most important thing you must do is to tell your parents. The shame you fear is a heavy burden, but it is far too heavy to carry alone. While some families, in their disappointment, may turn away from their own flesh and blood, a parent’s love for their child often finds a way to overcome even the deepest heartbreak. You must give them the chance to help you.
The man who took your virtue and promised you a life together is not who you thought he was. He has abandoned you when you needed him most, proving his words to be as empty as his character. You must understand that he will not return, and you must not waste another moment of your time trying to contact him.
With your parents, you must now decide on the best course of action. This is a matter of great gravity. You will need their guidance to make arrangements for the baby’s future, whether that is finding a way to provide for him or her yourself, or making the difficult but selfless choice of placing the child for adoption with a family who can provide a proper home. This is not a journey you can take alone, and your parents are your only real recourse.
Pray for strength and lean on your faith. There are communities and kind souls who will help a young woman in your position. With the support of your family, you will get through this.
Love and Prayers,
Shirley
