The Wit And Wisdom Of Horace B Miesner

The problem with reality is the lack of background music.
WRYL – The Voice of the Great Up North
I may be crazy, but it seems to me that . . .

The problem with reality is the lack of background music.
WRYL – The Voice of the Great Up North


Dearest Shirley,
I’m writing to you today with a pickle that’s more sour than a lemon in a lime factory. I’m a strapping young lad of 25, and I’ve fallen head over heels for a woman, let’s call her “Doris,” who’s, shall we say, enjoying her golden years at a vivacious 60. She’s smart, funny, beautiful, and makes a mean hot dish. We’re madly in love, and our private life is, well, blissful.
The problem, Abby, is the public life. Every time Doris suggests we go out – to a restaurant, a movie, even just a walk in the park – my stomach does more flips than a professional gymnast. I start spouting excuses faster than a politician before an election: “Oh, my car’s making a funny noise,” “I suddenly have to reorganize my sock drawer,” “My pet rock needs emotional support.” You name it, I’ve used it.
I’m terrified people will stare. I’m convinced my friends will point and whisper, “Look, there’s, let’s call me Henry, dating his grandma!” I know it’s irrational, and Doris is amazing, but the thought of those judging eyes just paralyzes me. I’m worried she’s going to get fed up with my hermit-like tendencies and ditch me for someone who isn’t afraid of daylight. How can I get over this ridiculous embarrassment and proudly show off the incredible woman I love?
Sincerely,
Closeted Casanova
Dear Closeted Casanova,
Oh, honey, you’ve got it bad, but not in the way you think! Your heart is singing, but your brain is stuck in a middle school cafeteria. Let’s unpack this fear of yours, shall we?
First off, congratulations on finding love! It sounds like you and Doris have something truly special, and that’s worth more than all the whispered gossip in the world. Now, about those whispers…
Here’s a dose of reality: Most people are too wrapped up in their own lives (and their own embarrassments, believe me) to care all that much about your age-gap romance. And the ones who do stare or whisper? Bless their cotton socks, they’re probably just jealous! Jealous that you’ve found genuine happiness, jealous that Doris is still so vibrant, or maybe just jealous they didn’t think of reorganizing their sock drawer.
Your friends? If they’re truly your friends, they’ll be happy for you. Anyone who mocks you for loving someone wonderful, regardless of age, isn’t much of a friend anyway. You’re 25, not 15. It’s time to realize that your worth isn’t determined by the approval of a few snickering acquaintances.
Here’s your prescription for public confidence:
Closeted Casanova, life is too short to hide the love you’ve found. Doris deserves to be shown off, and you deserve to enjoy her company wherever you please. So, dust off your going-out shoes, take Doris by the hand, and stride out into the world. You’ll be surprised how quickly those imaginary stares disappear when you realize the only opinion that truly matters is your own (and Doris’s, of course!).
Go forth and be fabulous!
Warmly,
Shirley
Things Our Mother Taught Us
My Mother taught me about Time Travel
“If you don’t straighten up,
I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
This has been a public service announcement from WRYL
The Voice of the Great Up North


The road to success is paved with good intentions…
and a whole lot of caffeine.
WRYL – The Voice of the Great Up North
Dear Shirley,
I’m a teenage guy named Edwin, and I’m writing to you because I’m really confused about girls, especially when it comes to knowing if they want to be kissed. There’s this girl I really like, and I feel like we have a good connection, but I’m terrified of making a move and getting it wrong.
How do you even know if a girl wants you to kiss her? Is there something specific she says or does that’s a signal? I’ve heard about “body language,” but I don’t really know what to look for. I’m so scared of trying to kiss her and having her push me away, or worse, laugh at me and make fun of me to her friends. That would be completely mortifying.
Also, how can I tell if a girl really likes me, beyond just being friendly? Sometimes I think a girl is into me, but then she acts the same way with all her other guy friends, and I get confused. I don’t want to misread things and end up embarrassing myself.
Any advice you can give would be a huge help. I just want to understand things better so I don’t mess up.
Sincerely,
Confused Edwin
Dear Confused Edwin,
Thank you for your honest letter. It takes courage to ask these kinds of questions, and you’re certainly not alone in feeling confused about reading signals. It’s a tricky area, especially in the teenage years, but there are definitely ways to navigate it with more confidence.
First, let’s talk about knowing if a girl wants to be kissed. You’re right, body language is a big part of it, but it’s not always a flashing neon sign. Here are some things to look for, and remember, it’s often a combination of these, not just one:
Now, for the big one: the kiss. Even with all these signals, there’s no 100% guarantee. The best approach is to create an opportunity for a kiss, rather than just going for it out of the blue. When you’re in a moment that feels right – maybe you’re alone, you’ve had a good conversation, and you’re feeling those positive signals – you can try:
As for telling if a girl really likes you beyond just being friendly, here are some additional signs:
Edwin, the fear of rejection is completely normal. Everyone experiences it. But remember, a respectful approach, where you pay attention to her signals and give her space to respond, is always the best way. If a girl pushes you away or laughs, it says more about her immaturity than it does about you. You’re showing maturity by wanting to understand and respect her.
Keep being yourself, be genuine, and pay attention. You’ll get the hang of it.
Warmly,
Shirley



Pastor Dzef takes you into a language adventure. Learn Polish and sing along with the Lupinska sisters at the Royal VFW. Use these words in your English conversations and eventually you will become bi-lingual. Practice along with the Royal community. Watch for upcoming Polish language summer camps, Polish story time at the Royal Library and the Kielbasa eating contest at the Lunch Box Cafe
Zima (shzee ma) – Winter
Wiosna (vee oh snah) – Spring
Lato (lah toe) – Summer
Jesien (yeh shen) – Fall


Mirrors show us what we look like, not who we are (thank goodness).
WRYL – The Voice of the Great Up North
Things Our Mother Taught Us
My Mother taught me Religion
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
This has been a public service announcement from WRYL
The Voice of the Great Up North


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